“Grief”
Lose a loved one, and you lose more than that person; you lose a part of yourself. Grief, the normal reaction to this is the most draining of emotions, robbing you of both your energy and your brainpower day after dreaded day. There are various stages of grief - shock, sadness, relief, anger, guilt, denial, protest and the most devastating, depression, and they don’t occur in any particular order. Throughout these stages, it’s not uncommon to have trouble concentrating or performing thought processes.

Attachment is developed in animals (humans included) because it has a survival value. If attachment is natural, then it is also natural to grieve. The pain of grief is just as much a part of life as the joy of love; it is perhaps, the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. (Bowlby – according to Worden 1982) If grief is dealt with effectively it can become a tool for the development of great insight. (Wolden, 1982) It seems that the more one can remain ‘open’ and mindfully experience the pain of grief (Worden’s 1982), the greater possibility of effectively processing and overcoming its effects, surrendering to the natural and present moment conditions of mind and body.

“Krishnamurti, a spiritual leader in India who died in 1986 was once asked what is the most appropriate thing to say to a friend who is about to die. He answered: “Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone.” When I said to a dear friend that I wished in a way that I was going with her, I know a part of me really did go.

“Yoga and Grief”
“Vairagya”, or nonattachment, is the key concept in yoga. The relationship of attachment to grief is obvious; we don’t grieve what we’re not attached to. The attachment that compounds grief, the clinging to what is not, what cannot be, goes against one of yoga’s primary truths; “Everything changes and everything will eventually end.” We don’t get to live and not lose. If we care about anything, we’re going to experience loss.

Yoga allows you to probe your grief, to move into the pain and not run from it. It takes patience to let go of doubt and fear. When we allow ourselves to be open to and investigate these feelings we come to see them and our negative attachment to them, sometimes even a compulsion with them. As we open into our pain we may weep with gratitude when the pain gradually disperses and we are aware of the spaciousness and peace.

Proven Results with Yoga Practice:

• Physical relief from tension, aches and pains
• A feeling of deep relaxation
• Enhanced mental clarity and focus
• A clearer sense of purpose and empowerment
• A new perspective and inner connection

Through the practice of certain yoga asanas I was able to set myself free from grief and if this benefits anyone, it will truly be my honor. I talk to my loved ones everyday and feel their presence. I would not change a thing, even if I could. Acceptance teaches all of us to love more deeply and know where we are all eventually going is really okay.

“While the realization doesn’t lesson the struggle over missing my loved ones, I realize that I am not afraid of dying; there is a beauty in it we can only imagine.” Linda Johnson

“You are spirit, and Yoga enables you to truly connect with your spiritual Self.” Words from Wendy

“Yoga is a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are.” Erich Schiffmann

Linda Johnson is a graduate of the SOYA 500 hour Teacher Training Program. This article is an excerpt from her Specialty Research Project on Yoga for a Grieving Heart. If you would like to borrow this project from our SOYA online Library, please contact info@soyayoga.com and we will share it in pdf format.